Updated Canadian Universities Lightbulb Jokes

How many Ryerson students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Trick question; Ryerson isn't a real university.

How many Lakehead students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* None, Thunder Bay doesn't have electricity.

How many University of Toronto students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Two, one to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.

How many Algonquin students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Only one, but he gets six credits for it.

How many Laurentian students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* None, Sudbury looks better in the dark.

How many Queen's students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* One, he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

How many Waterloo students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Five, one to design a nuclear-powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Waterloo using that nuked lightbulb, two to install it and one to write the computer program.

How many Western students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Five, one to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect Tommy Hilfiger/L.L. Bean/Eddie Bauer outfit to wear for the occasion.

How many McMaster students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Two, one to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did as well as any Queen's student.

How many Windsor students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Two, one to change the bulb and one to complain about how, if they were at a better school, the lightbulb wouldn't go out.

How many McGill students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* One, but she can't do it on Thursday, Friday or Saturday night.

How many University of Calgary students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Seven, one to change the bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

How many University of Alberta students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Two, one to change it and the other to boast how it was so "Indisputably Recognized" around the world.

How many Guelph students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Seven, one to screw it in and 6 to figure out how to power it on manure.

How many Mt. Allison students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Five, one to do it and 4 to be in the Macleans photo of it.

How many University of Victoria students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* None, lava lamps don't burn out man!

How many UBC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Four, one to do it and three to translate the instructions.

How many University of Saskatchewan students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* One, there's nobody else around to do it.

How many Laurier students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Five, they make it campus affair.

How many University of Manitoba students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* There's a university in Manitoba?

How many York University students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Three, one to take directions from the science student, the science student, and one to philosophize about life as a lightbulb.

How many University of Ottawa students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* One, (s)he screws everything, why not a lightbulb?

How many Carleton University students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* Two, one to change the bulb and one to brag about how they did it faster than the Ottawa U students did it.

How many Laval students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* One, but she would insist that the way she did it was distinct.

How many United States University/College students does it take to change a lightbulb?
* That depends; how much is the athletic scholarship worth?

   

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They're funny becuase they're true!