Canada Kicks Ass
Look out George W


karra @ Wed Mar 24, 2004 12:41 pm

President George Bush was in the Oval Office
wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canadaey? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!"

"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself,me
cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from
the pub. That makes eight!"

George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to
one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.
"President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves
airborne! We up an'modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.

"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call
off dis 'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."



xerxes @ Wed Mar 24, 2004 12:52 pm

I think this is supposed to be funny, but I'm not laughing and I'm not even a Newf.


AdamNF @ Wed Mar 24, 2004 1:16 pm

I wouldn't call it funny but ammusing, Now im from Newfoundland, i live in Newfoundland it was even hard for me to read some of your 'newf speak'.


Pathos @ Wed Mar 24, 2004 1:29 pm

its cute
:lol: :lol: out of five


karra @ Thu Mar 25, 2004 4:18 pm

Ahh, yesss, eye sea the problem now . . . . .

I think . . . .

Doctor! Doctor!

Is there a doctor in the house?


xerxes @ Thu Mar 25, 2004 5:03 pm

Doctor! Doctor!

Is there a doctor in the house?

I should hope so. Then maybe Karra could get that lobotomy we all wish she'd get.


karra @ Thu Mar 25, 2004 5:28 pm

Hey, I was going to use that word lobotomy in my last nastygram about Tequila Sheila.

Good thing I didn't or people might have thought you were me, or even worse, I was you.


Pathos @ Thu Mar 25, 2004 6:50 pm

only peeple with a cense of humour should be allowed in here.


drunken_prop @ Thu Mar 25, 2004 7:24 pm

This is pretty funny!

Can not find Weapons of Mass Destruction


Scape @ Sat Apr 03, 2004 3:37 pm

Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye

Classic newf speak! Yes me buck, me bye, me son, me laird me holy holed jesus thunderin' f*ck!


F/sgt Cam @ Sat Apr 03, 2004 10:11 pm

It was moderatly funny, but I've seen better :P