Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
words back, or that you could crawl into a hole? Testimonials of a few
people who did.

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow-job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't
say a word, he knew better.

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I am
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the
boy grinned and I turned beet-red and walked away. This, my sister has
never let me forget.

4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she
would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I'll tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence
was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard
when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
on at him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said
"No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, I hope that my child has not had an
accident. I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, did you have an accident?"
"No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have
had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked
one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped
up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled:
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on
their tacos laughing. He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An
old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd
ever had!

6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any.
A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did
HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were laughing
so hard!

   

Dam. You have had some really embarrassing moments haven't you ?.

   

hehe, not me! That was another E-mail that I got. I've never had any REALLY embarrassing moments.

   

Really!. I thought it was you. Well I guess you didn't have to go through what those women went through.

   

i had embarrassing moments but they never influenced my life dramatically...
i think i've already read these ones on this forum...