WOMAN SHOWER / MAN SHOWER
LittleBastard @ Thu Oct 13, 2005 6:37 am
*HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN*:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
*HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN*:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!
Ripcat @ Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:41 pm
My hair is too short to make a shampoo Mohawk... 
PostManPat @ Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:20 pm
So its normal to pee in the shower? 
CanadianHeat @ Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:28 pm
thats hilarious but you forgot one thing for the guys:
Walk slowly past a window and "woo-woo" lol.
twister @ Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:07 pm
PorscheBoxster2001 PorscheBoxster2001:
*HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN*:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
*HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN*:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
*HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN*:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!
only thing you forgot.. is using the wife loofa.. for a proper cleaning of your knees, elbows, and oh yes scrotal regions....
canucker @ Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:12 pm
PorscheBoxster2001 PorscheBoxster2001:
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Those two are probably the most annoying.
Also, women pee in the shower too!
themasta @ Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:14 pm
How do you know what I do in the shower? Are you....are you....watching me? Because if you are, I have only one thing to say to you,"Woo-woo!" 
CanadianHeat @ Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:21 pm
twister twister:
only thing you forgot.. is using the wife loofa.. for a proper cleaning of your knees, elbows, and oh yes scrotal regions....
SCROTAL REGIONS! i thought i heard ever synonym possible, but i never heard that one. and its the best one! It F**kin hilarious.
SCROTAL REGION! WOO-WOO
HockeyBabe @ Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:53 pm
that was hilarious! 
dgthe3 @ Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:13 pm
I never realized that we had so many steps when showering. they are all esentially accurate though....however, the order does vary slightly.
scrotal regions...
LittleBastard @ Fri Oct 14, 2005 4:27 am
canucker canucker:
Also, women pee in the shower too!
OK....... well I guess if ya gotta go... ya gotta go!?
Go for it ladies!?
FireWire @ Fri Oct 14, 2005 5:29 am
PostManPat PostManPat:
So its normal to pee in the shower?
Pee in the shower or pee while taking your bath. Pick your poison
LittleBastard @ Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:34 am
FireWire FireWire:
PostManPat PostManPat:
So its normal to pee in the shower?
Pee in the shower or pee while taking your bath. Pick your poison
WTF!!!???
Dude... are you feeling alright!?
The shower is one thing... but during a bath... that's just messed up!?
HockeyBabe @ Sat Oct 15, 2005 2:02 pm
I know... *vomits* lol
SwampoO @ Sat Oct 15, 2005 3:00 pm
man I do lots more stuff in the shower! some things are grosser some things are funner... when I was in high school I used to smoke in the shower. That would hide it from my parents. Now I enjoy a cold beer in the shower on party days. I used to shower with balloons when I was into drugs, man thats f'd up.