Canada Vs. France
Chi-townDude @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:29 pm
Who do u think would win in a war? Canada or france? I know that this is probably the most unrealistic war but just for fun........
Tricks @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:33 pm
Personally, with nukes not included, Canada.
From the words of General Patton
$1:
I would rather have a German regiment in front of me then a French one behind me
Bart should have fun with this.
Lord-Beaverbrook @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:47 pm
The French by far. They have invested far more resources and man power into their military. The French are one of the most powerful militarily and economically in the world. Canada would be destroyed, atleast until many years of guerilla warfare demoralized them and cause public outcry to leave.
Chi-townDude @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:56 pm
i can honestly say i dont know much about the french military.....but given they cant control riots by their own people, i would say canada would stomp them.
Canadaka @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:01 pm
there is a computer game called "World Domination" where you can be any country, and arttack another country if you wish.
Its just a game, but its fairly complex, takes into factors like the reason for war, politics, econemy, world opinions and such.
For example in the game, if I made France attack Canada, with no reason, pretty much most of the world would come to Canada's aid. And since france is a democracy, it would be hard to keep the war going. In the game it is possible if you spent a long time building up reasons to attack.
For fun, I simulated an unprovoked attack on Canada from the US, turns into a global mess, pretty much the entire planet comes to Canada's aid, But it was still very hard to keep Canada, I kept loosing territory. I never tried out the France scenario, and I don't have it installed anymore.
fatbasturd @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:07 pm
it depends...do the french have running shoes on or not.
Lord-Beaverbrook @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:09 pm
France Stats :
The total number of military personnel is approximately 300,000.
200,000 regulars
100,000 as a version of "national guards"
259,050 (ranked 20th)
Military expenditures
Amount $45 billion (2005)
Percent of GDP 2.6% (2005)
Canadian Stats:
approx. 62,000 [1][2]
Primary reserves (including Rangers)(2005) approx. 26,000
Dollar figure
(FY03/04) CAN$12.9 billion
(13th in 2004)[5]
Percent of GDP
(FY03/04) 1.1% (128th in 2003)
France would stomp us.
Chi-townDude @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:12 pm
Fair enough ![[bash]](./images/smilies/bash.gif "Bash")
bootlegga @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:34 pm
It all depends on where the battle was fought.
Neither nation has enough lift capacity to really invade the other. Our navy and air forces could do a good job of interdicting an invasion force. It couldn't prevent the French from landing, but they'd lose a lot of equipment/troops before they took the landing beaches. Likewise, French naval forces could prevent us from landing in France.
Odds are any skirmish would be along the lines of a 'raid' with carrier and/or land-based air units attacking targets in Canada (or vice-versa). Either side could do damage with bombs and cruise missiles to enemy cities, bases, and units.
In the event of a real invasion, France would need to wipe out our entire Atlantic squadron (the bigger of the two). Odds are, they could, but they'd lose a fair number of ships themselves. Once they landed, their army units could do a lot of damage, but it would take a while to conquer Canada (months, if not a year or more). The sheer size of Canada would prevent a lightning quick takeover of Canada.
And while France would start out with triple or quadruple the number of soldiers Canada would, ours would quickly swell to double or triple theirs (topping out over a million or so I'd guess), simply because we would be fighting for our country. I think our biggest problem would be holding onto industrialized Central Canada. If that fell, there's not much industry out West that could build tanks, planes, etc to keep the fight going.
As I've said inthe past, the only real nation that could invade us is the USA, simply because of geography and power projection capabilities (and I don't think they are planning something). China, Russia, France, the UK, etc simply don't have enough sea/air lift to get more than a division or so across the ocean (combat loaded). The rest would have to come by regular freighter, not amphibious assault ship. Of course, China and/or Russia might rectify this in a decade or two, but for the moment, our best protection from invasion are the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans.
GreatBriton @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:38 pm
Wouldn't the French just surrender?
Canada doesn't even have a proper military, but France will surrender.
ziggy @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:38 pm
I googled french military victories and got this.
$1:
french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. Suggestions:. - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. - Try different keywords. ...
ziggy @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:39 pm
I clicked googles link and got this.
$1:
Did you mean: french military defeats
MrMagicMan @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:39 pm
France would win.
ziggy @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:43 pm
MrMagicMan MrMagicMan:
France would win.
Really?
$1:
Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]
- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.
- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War
- Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."
Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."
With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses:
Norse invasions, 841-911.
After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years.
Mexico, 1863-1864.
France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival.
Panama jungles 1881-1890.
No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914.
Napoleonic Wars.
Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions.
Haiti, 1791-1804.
French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally.
India, 1673-1813.
British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine...). Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England.
Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830.
Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815.
1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S.
French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations.
Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s.
Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day.
French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair):
1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French.
When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. God will know His own." Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children.
St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572.
Once again, French-on-French slaughter.
Third Crusade.
Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish.
Seventh Crusade.
St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Resoundingly crushed.
[Eighth] Crusade.
St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. See Seventh Crusade.
Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses.
Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me:
Seven year War 1756-1763
Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Brits. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and India (Clive at Plassey).
Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following:
The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. This ended their colonialism. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair.
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]
- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.
- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War
- Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."
Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."
With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses:
Norse invasions, 841-911.
After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years.
Mexico, 1863-1864.
France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival.
Panama jungles 1881-1890.
No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914.
Napoleonic Wars.
Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions.
Haiti, 1791-1804.
French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally.
India, 1673-1813.
British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine...). Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England.
Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830.
Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815.
1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S.
French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations.
Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s.
Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day.
French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair):
1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French.
When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. God will know His own." Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children.
St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572.
Once again, French-on-French slaughter.
Third Crusade.
Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish.
Seventh Crusade.
St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Resoundingly crushed.
[Eighth] Crusade.
St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. See Seventh Crusade.
Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses.
Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me:
Seven year War 1756-1763
Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Brits. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and India (Clive at Plassey).
Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following:
The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. This ended their colonialism. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair.
Arctic_Menace @ Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:44 pm
Canadaka Canadaka:
there is a computer game called "World Domination" where you can be any country, and arttack another country if you wish.
Its just a game, but its fairly complex, takes into factors like the reason for war, politics, econemy, world opinions and such.
For example in the game, if I made France attack Canada, with no reason, pretty much most of the world would come to Canada's aid. And since france is a democracy, it would be hard to keep the war going. In the game it is possible if you spent a long time building up reasons to attack.
For fun, I simulated an unprovoked attack on Canada from the US, turns into a global mess, pretty much the entire planet comes to Canada's aid, But it was still very hard to keep Canada, I kept loosing territory. I never tried out the France scenario, and I don't have it installed anymore.
Its just a game, but its fairly complex, takes into factors like the reason for war, politics, econemy, world opinions and such.
For example in the game, if I made France attack Canada, with no reason, pretty much most of the world would come to Canada's aid. And since france is a democracy, it would be hard to keep the war going. In the game it is possible if you spent a long time building up reasons to attack.
For fun, I simulated an unprovoked attack on Canada from the US, turns into a global mess, pretty much the entire planet comes to Canada's aid, But it was still very hard to keep Canada, I kept loosing territory. I never tried out the France scenario, and I don't have it installed anymore.
Where can I get this game?
