Previous  1  2

It's time for me to follow through.

Yugo (or what was left of it) Sector South Summer '94

Our Section task of the day was to clear an anti-personnel minefield in the Zone of Separation (ZOS) for a patrol route. Got the Serbs on-line and had good directions on the location and the type of mines they laid. It was about 20 of these little bastards (PMA-3) here:



We got a late start as the belligerents were hungover and late for the RV. So much for getting it done in the cool of the morning. It getting on toward lunch when we nailed down the perimeter so we decided to stop and grab a bite. It would allow us to re-hydrate and combat complacency (boredom) before clearing. The Inf Coy we were helping was facing one of the usual periodic manpower crunches and asked us if we'd accept the Coy sniper for overwatch/security. FYI, It's tough to clear and keep an eye on the treeline at the same time. We all knew Smitty and we knew he was bored to tears so we said sure.

Anyway, to back-track a bit. In that other thread I mentioned that Barts preferred method of disposal by fire was perfectly viable.

So, to continue, during our break Smitty was itching to fire a few rounds to "sharpen the skills" (or show off a bit to us Sappers). Naturally the troopies said that he couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat on a lake, and that started the bruhaha. Too bad he couldn't shoot straight, then we could use the disposal by fire way. More yakking goes on. So lunch ends and we enter the mined area and start clearing. We come across a couple of mines like in the picture and they were uncovered so we marked them and moved on. Couple hours later most of the work is done and Smitty still wants to fire a few rounds and do that "disposal thingy you Thumperhead's wuz talkin about".

One thing about clearing is that there is always a ton of garbage around. You name it, it's there. Including things like shoe polish. Specifically old Yugo Army shoe polish. In green coloured tins. Sorta like the picture above.
So we "give in" and tell Smitty we'll set a couple up for him to detonate with his sniper rifle. He asks us if it'll blow when he hits it and we tell him "of course, it'll detonate everytime, but he has to hit it. More "discussion" follows. So he sets up while Davey (the 2I/C) sets a couple out some near, some far. Everything is set and we tell Smitty since he's a sniper he can start with the far one. So Smitty fires the first round. Bang! Nothing. More discussion about having to hit the stupid thing, yadda yadda. Bang! Still nothing. Ahhh Smitty ya cross-eyed SOB! hit the dam thing so we can go home! Third shot still nothing. Davey tells Smitty to look out and he'll show him how it's done. Picks up his C7 and blam! fires a shot at the nearest mine and pop! it detonates (not much explosives in that type, toe poppers really). Fuck Smitty, hit the thing! Smitty fires another shot says he hit it again, but nothing happens. We tell him he's a retard. We've had enough and so we go out to destroy it by blowing it up. Once we get out there we see he's nailed that old shoe polish time everytime. Impressive. But we can't tell him that. Ended up blowing up some trash. So we rag on him all the way back to Coy HQ. Can't shoot, useless fuck, yak yak.

We let him off the hook that night when he got that rifle tore down to check it. He paid us back for that. Simply put: Fucking with snipers is fun, but do so at your own peril!

Lots of cranky old bastards around here so I thought a thread for some war stories might be called for. I'll go first since I started it.

UNPROFOR Roto 1 '92. 2 Tp (Engineers from 1 CER) attached to 3 VP out of Camp Polom. The hand-over from 2 Tp 4 CER has just taken place. 1 CEU has just dispatched a recce element to confirm the scope of work and the requirements for winterization of the Battle Group. Nothing has been prepared and the buildings are in shit state. In comes a few officers to begin the recce. A day or two later the Engineer Officers are assessing the buildings within Camp Polom and they run across the Field Troop CP. It was simply a modular tent built on a level raised platform (the ground sloped) with wooden end walls. There was a little balcony attached with a screen door in the end wall. The boys (4 CER) did a neat job, staining and finishing the end walls. Well, to get back to it, these two officers come into the CP and start looking around. One of them (an ex MCpl) is pretty full of himself, first tour, lots o' drama, with an Inf unit, "gonna save these dumb asses" type of attitude. He looks down at the TpWO, who is trying to ignore this interruption while working at the pile of returns, and says "WO. What exactly was this before?
A puzzled look attaches to the WO's face. "What was what before? sir"
"This, WO" says the officer while waving his arm vaguely about.
"Sir, <sigh>... this is a fucking tent"

Officer does the (He is dealing after all with a "lowly" TpWO)

"Not the tent WO, but this. What was this before?" Pointing at the end wall.

"Fuck, sir, it was lumber" and goes back to work.

The officer left without another word and never came back in the 4 months that 1 CEU was there.

Man...I work with MARS officers and JAFOs....let me think on few and will post em after I get home from the shore office today....

Anybody hear anything from him lately?

Hormel: if you're reading this, don't reply, save the Inmarsat for calls home for the crew!

This one took place back in the early 90s. I am sitting in the main cafeteria aka main cave and get a call to go to the bridge and see the navigating officer (NAVO). Off I go up three decks to the bridge. At the time we were doing the Haitian vacation aka part of the blockade force to stop shipments of weapons etc into Haiti, so we were doing slow circles in our patrol box for days on end. I wonder as I head topside what nav problems we could be having seeing as how we have only been going in circles anyway for a week now.

I get up there and of course there is Haiti about 8 miles to the south, just where we have left it for the last week. I ask the NAVO what the problem is. Apparently the depth sounder is not working...... I look over and the island is pretty damn close so ok, this is actually serious. Grounding 600 million worth of tax payer dollars is fround upon. I spend a few minutes running checks and everything seems normal except the damn thing is constantly recylcing. To continue trouble shooting the damn thing I ask the NAVO what the depth under the keel should be, just so I have a guide line to go by. She checks the chart and tells me 2000 fathoms. Apparently the world falls off into nothing off the coast of Haiti. Now remember this is the ship's navigator I am talking to and she does not know the operating paramiters of one of her main navigational aids. Ya see the depth sounder is only good to 500 fathoms, after that it just cycles constantly. I could not help myself, I had to ask her what the hell was she worried about hitting in 12000 feet of water and why after being here for a week she only just noticed?

The chief did try and give me a blast about proper respect etc for a commisioned officer but he was laughing too hard for it to really stick.

I just have to jump in on this one......
I was part of the infantry unit doing a course for Capt to be Maj and we were the dismounted ones.....All week, every day, 0800-1830(ish) attack after attack after attack.....and then in the evening a candidate leads an ambush or raid etc.
This night was an ambush. Over 100 soldiers and off we go. Recce had left 5 hours before to plan the route, ORV's etc etc. and the rehearsals too.
So we dimount the trucks and line up and march single file in the dark and do the left turn into the woods.......I get the hand signal to "close up", nod my head and turn to pass the signal to the soldier behind me. I turn back and see NOTHING...No one.... only a slight rustle of a bush and I'm running in that direction. Damn it, I didn't stop running for 20 min as everytime I caught the soldier in front of me he had to run to catch the one in front of him and so on and so on. Same with me, I wait for the guy behind me to catch up and then I have to take off.
After 20 min I literally PLOW right into the soldier....guess I missed his "shadow" in the woods. About 10 min later I hit a nicely placed stick across the trail....I am literally parallel to the ground with the flash supressor dragging on the ground 90 degrees to me. I crumple as silently as I can (not at all) into a ball, stagger to my feet and take off running again. About 2 min later I heard the ZZZZZZZ as a box of C9 goes flying off the trail as the gunner trips on said stick.
Our 100 man party got fragmented into 3 separate groups with the patrol 2i/c (Tail end Charlie) lost. White lights to guide him back.

Recce told me the Patrol Comd (Candidate) got his leader legs and Took Off from the first step and DID NOT listen to slow down. Recce led him to the ORV and he said "Nope, don't like it" and then proceded to walk down the dirt trail to about 75m from the objective.

Not my best impression of how a patrol is supposed to go.....

Previous  1  2