Potential terrorists lurking in Canadian cities: CSIS Jobs!
Calgary123 @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:25 pm
Donny_Brasco Donny_Brasco:
I applied. Here is my cover letter.
$1:
May 30, 2006
CSIS
Recruitment Team
I am applying for the position of Surveillant, as advertised on your web site.
I am clearly a prime candidate for this position. I have keen eyesight and am capable of sitting in a motor vehicle in silence for hours on end. I am an above average dancer and I can shoot a dime at 50 meters with an Izhmash.
I have expert analysing skills, I can read body language and I am obsessively detailed. I can iron my pants, shirts and underwear all in a matter of seconds. I never get cold.
My sense of smell is mammal like. I can tell the make a car just from listening for the click of the rocks stuck in the tire tread. Animals love me.
I am prepared. I travel with a hockey stick and a change of clothes. I always have a quarter. I collect pens that work and discard those that do not. I never return plastic bottles without removing the caps.
I can pack heat and I have driven a police car off of a steep cliff. Women do not faze me. I blend into the crowd. I always know the time.
I am quick witted, my conversation skills are superb. I have never cheated on my wife. I can run like the wind. I can make a fire with a glue gun and an electric pencil sharpener. I know how to do the PIT manoeuvre.
I look forward to being interrogated by one of your agents in the near future. You know the number.
Thank you for your consideration.
DB
CSIS
Recruitment Team
I am applying for the position of Surveillant, as advertised on your web site.
I am clearly a prime candidate for this position. I have keen eyesight and am capable of sitting in a motor vehicle in silence for hours on end. I am an above average dancer and I can shoot a dime at 50 meters with an Izhmash.
I have expert analysing skills, I can read body language and I am obsessively detailed. I can iron my pants, shirts and underwear all in a matter of seconds. I never get cold.
My sense of smell is mammal like. I can tell the make a car just from listening for the click of the rocks stuck in the tire tread. Animals love me.
I am prepared. I travel with a hockey stick and a change of clothes. I always have a quarter. I collect pens that work and discard those that do not. I never return plastic bottles without removing the caps.
I can pack heat and I have driven a police car off of a steep cliff. Women do not faze me. I blend into the crowd. I always know the time.
I am quick witted, my conversation skills are superb. I have never cheated on my wife. I can run like the wind. I can make a fire with a glue gun and an electric pencil sharpener. I know how to do the PIT manoeuvre.
I look forward to being interrogated by one of your agents in the near future. You know the number.
Thank you for your consideration.
DB
Dude,
Hands down, that was the funniest thing I've read in the longest time. You made my day.
Cheers!
Calgary123 @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:27 pm
thefactremains thefactremains:
I seen a terrorist in Canada, I sure did, in a mall, scoping the place, In midtown plaza, if I see him again, Im goign to call the police and point him out, I know hes a terrorist. mark my words, its in the City of Saskatoon.
Oh my gawd... that was almost as funny as the last one. Good on ya.
Tricks @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 9:37 pm
Firecat Firecat:
tritium tritium:
thefactremains thefactremains:
We should send, tritium to syria, and get a cattle prong up his ass, he'll probably take it sideways. wont wanna come back.
What happen thefactremains, they tossed your boyfriend into jail, now you trying come on to me.
Just remember, I'm the giver, your the receiver. You're my Bitch.!!
![[BF]](./images/smilies/00001656.gif "Banana Fuck")
The bloom of true love. Always brings a tear to my eye. sniffle.
thefactremains @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 9:44 pm
I knew my statement would arouse you.
Tricks @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 9:45 pm
thefactremains thefactremains:
I knew my statement would arouse you.
Oh Firecat is very aroused, he's puring.. 
thefactremains @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 9:54 pm
how about this one?..tritium?... ![[moon]](./images/smilies/action-smiley-081.gif "Moon")
javascript:emoticon('[moon]')
Moon
thefactremains @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 9:56 pm
Calgary, dont let all your oil money blind you, your not immune. they dont care about you, too.
Banff @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:00 pm
Calary has one of the worlds worst terrorist gatherng check points 'jimmy deans'
thefactremains @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:08 pm
We got picked up one time, by a etrrorist, it had to be, this is no crap, me and a friend of mine, we hiked to USA, we got picked up at the highway going from saskatoon, to north battleford,a car picked us up, and this driver told us, that he used to be a Iraqi soldier, in Iraq, big tall middle eastern guy. AZnd we told Him we were going to the united states, all of a sudden, He said, he was tired, and wanted to get a room, and pulled over at the entrance of radisson, red bull truck stop..and dropped us there, ,this was around noon, he just went and made a donut, just close by there, and came rite by us, and passed us, and kept on going to Edmonton.I seen his picture, too. When the news was out around the time 9/11. I reported all this to FBI.
ziggy @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:11 pm
thefactremains thefactremains:
We got picked up one time, by a etrrorist, it had to be, this is no crap, me and a friend of mine, we hiked to USA, we got picked up at the highway going from saskatoon, to north battleford,a car picked us up, and this driver told us, that he used to be a Iraqi soldier, in Iraq, big tall middle eastern guy. AZnd we told Him we were going to the united states, all of a sudden, He said, he was tired, and wanted to get a room, and pulled over at the entrance of radisson, red bull truck stop..and dropped us there, ,this was around noon, he just went and made a donut, just close by there, and came rite by us, and passed us, and kept on going to Edmonton.I seen his picture, too. When the news was out around the time 9/11. I reported all this to FBI.
thefactremains @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:29 pm
If they succeed in bringing in the sharia law, They probably would chop, ziggys, pecker off,,,,,,,,,,,,,if they can find it
Tricks @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:31 pm
Noboddy wants to see ziggy's pecker....
thefactremains @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:39 pm
Its got too much crap, on it,,lmao
thefactremains @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:45 pm
I better tighten up my belt.
ziggy @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:48 pm
thefactremains thefactremains:
I better tighten up my belt.
That the one with your name engraved on the back so the truckers know who their doing? 