Potential terrorists lurking in Canadian cities: CSIS Jobs!
bossdog @ Tue May 30, 2006 10:18 am
The Jobs:
The Canadian Security Intelligence Service is seeking applications for a career in Surveillance in the cities of Ottawa, Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver.
The Article:
$1:
Potential terrorists lurking in Canadian cities: CSIS
Published: Monday, May 29, 2006
OTTAWA -- Canada has its own crop of homegrown terrorists capable of acts like the deadly attacks on London's transit system last summer, says Canada's spy agency.
"I can tell you that all of the circumstances that led to the London transit bombings . . . are resident here and now in Canada,'' Jack Hooper, operations director of the Canadian Security Intelligence Service, told a Senate committee Monday.
The threat from Canadian-bred terrorists is considered by CSIS to be on a par with external terror threats, Hooper said during an appearance with RCMP Commissioner Giuliano Zaccardelli.
He did not, however, say how many homegrown terror suspects there are in Canada, where they live, or which groups they are connected with.
The Senate's national security and defence committee was supposed to be examining Canada's role in Afghanistan. But the hearing sprawled across the security waterfront to include everything from CSIS interrogation techniques to the RCMP's ability to use spy service intelligence in criminal prosecutions.
Conservative Senator Michael Meighen asked Hooper and Zaccardelli to connect the dots between the Afghan mission and Canadian domestic security.
"The ordinary Canadian at Tim Hortons doesn't get it, in the sense that they don't seem to perceive the threat to themselves and their families and to their communities the same way you two gentlemen do,'' said Meighen.
Zaccardelli said failed states are breeding grounds for terrorists and organized crime.
"When we can help these countries help themselves, we are actually helping Canada,'' he said. "I strongly believe it is a good investment.''
Hooper pointed to several examples of people who had lived in Canada, and later took part in terrorist attacks. He said a common thread was time spent training at terror camps in Afghanistan.
"When we talk about the homegrown terrorist phenomenon, these are people. . . in most instances who are Canadian citizens,'' said the CSIS deputy. "You can't remove them anywhere.
"Most of them are very young. A lot of them were born here. A lot of them who were not born here emigrated to Canada with their parents at a very young age.''
Hooper did not provide any specifics on numbers or their whereabouts and did not respond to questions from reporters after the hearing.
Liberal Senator Colin Kenny, the chairman of the committee, said Britain's experience last summer should provide a wake-up call for the problems Canada could encounter with homegrown terrorists.
"They'd been born in country,'' Kenny said of the group that detonated a series of bombs, killing 52 civilians and four terrorists last July 7.
"They had all of the slang and comfort with the culture that you and I have, and yet, boom, here they are committing terrorist acts,'' Kenny said during a break in the hearings.
"It's a huge challenge to the police and the security forces to find them, to have a broad enough net to catch them. And so far I haven't heard anyone give us a good handle on how they can deal with it.''
© The Canadian Press
I applied. Here is my cover letter.
$1:
May 30, 2006
CSIS
Recruitment Team
I am applying for the position of Surveillant, as advertised on your web site.
I am clearly a prime candidate for this position. I have keen eyesight and am capable of sitting in a motor vehicle in silence for hours on end. I am an above average dancer and I can shoot a dime at 50 meters with an Izhmash.
I have expert analysing skills, I can read body language and I am obsessively detailed. I can iron my pants, shirts and underwear all in a matter of seconds. I never get cold.
My sense of smell is mammal like. I can tell the make a car just from listening for the click of the rocks stuck in the tire tread. Animals love me.
I am prepared. I travel with a hockey stick and a change of clothes. I always have a quarter. I collect pens that work and discard those that do not. I never return plastic bottles without removing the caps.
I can pack heat and I have driven a police car off of a steep cliff. Women do not faze me. I blend into the crowd. I always know the time.
I am quick witted, my conversation skills are superb. I have never cheated on my wife. I can run like the wind. I can make a fire with a glue gun and an electric pencil sharpener. I know how to do the PIT manoeuvre.
I look forward to being interrogated by one of your agents in the near future. You know the number.
Thank you for your consideration.
DB
Numure @ Tue May 30, 2006 12:43 pm
Cool, I actually applied as well. Had to dig up my Masters degree. Why do they ask for at least a bachelors degree anyways?
bossdog @ Tue May 30, 2006 12:44 pm
Numure Numure:
Cool, I actually applied as well. Had to dig up my Masters degree. Why do they ask for at least a bachelors degree anyways?
A bachelor's degree holds a lot of wieght in the "commitment" department as well as your ability to learn and retain information.
I seen a terrorist in Canada, I sure did, in a mall, scoping the place, In midtown plaza, if I see him again, Im goign to call the police and point him out, I know hes a terrorist. mark my words, its in the City of Saskatoon.
Sorry. Visable minorities, women and relatives of management only.
tritium @ Fri Jan 12, 2007 12:28 pm
Abbas?
No his name is tritium, sounds like plutonium, to me.
ridenrain ridenrain:
Sorry. Visable minorities, women and relatives of management only.
HAHAHA
So true but they would all be Indian, we don't have problems with India do we ?
Other then the fact that Brampton looks like New Delhi
Oh. I thought we were going to put up a branch office in Caledonia.
Or we could outsource it to China and save big bucks.
thefactremains thefactremains:
No his name is tritium, sounds like plutonium, to me.
We should send, tritium to syria, and get a cattle prong up his ass, he'll probably take it sideways. wont wanna come back.
CSIS does an extensive back ground check, they talk to your neighbours your family (they also investigate your relatives) past employers, university profs. If you pass stage one be prepared to have them poking into every aspect of your life, past and present.
No peaceniks need apply thou.
thefactremains thefactremains:
We should send, tritium to syria, and get a cattle prong up his ass, he'll probably take it sideways. wont wanna come back.
What happen thefactremains, they tossed your boyfriend into jail, now you trying come on to me.
Just remember, I'm the giver, your the receiver. You're my Bitch.!!
tritium tritium:
thefactremains thefactremains:
We should send, tritium to syria, and get a cattle prong up his ass, he'll probably take it sideways. wont wanna come back.
What happen thefactremains, they tossed your boyfriend into jail, now you trying come on to me.
Just remember, I'm the giver, your the receiver. You're my Bitch.!!

The bloom of true love. Always brings a tear to my eye. sniffle.