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My own Dad got leukemia and was told he had eleven years to live, so he kept it from me for five years. I thought it was typically stoic of him. I do love him for his life long reserve; it's a quality. Not telling at all is quite different.

   

Not telling anyone is more than selfish.

The survivors will all have to live with the question “why didn’t he or she tell me”. Depending on the relationship, that can cause a lot of damage down the road.

Whenever it's possible, death within a family shouldn't be a surprise.

   

Well if I found out I had terminal cancer or something I wouldnt tell my folks or family untill the end was close,I would get my affairs in order so as not to be a burden on them,if theres nothing they can do why worry them?

That's not selfish.

I think anyone who feels that way should look at their own selfisnness as to why they feel they have to know about a relatives private life.

Theres enough stress on a person who's going to die,they really shouldnt have to care what the relatives think.

At that point your not exactly #1 on the priority list,surviving one more day is.

   

One should. They don't necessarily need to right away, but should do so ASAP before it's too late.

Something regarding Death that happened to me that I promised a Dying person(my Dad)was in not keeping a Promise regarding Inheritance. All he really had was a $30k Life Insurance policy, but he wanted me and my Bro and Sis to get it, not my Mother.It was clearly to get back at my Mother who he was Separated from at the time. I didn't say a thing about it for many years after his Death, just thought my Bro and Sis deserved to know about it and why I said nothing. They agreed with me that they would have given it to her anyway.

   

I know from when my best friend and nieghbour died overnite I was glad he didnt tell me how bad it was.
He even told me he was glad he didnt because he didnt get patronized then because that's the last thing a terminal cancer victim needs to go through,keeping all the rellys on the up and up on their condition.

   

Exactly how I feel about it.

   

How about a positive rep point then?

   

   

At 47 years old my best friends I grew up with are dieing off,I'm glad Im not told.

I'm still kicking! Every day above ground is a good day,I would rather my friends and relatives get that message from me.

   

Telling your family is not the same as telling your “neighbour”. I don’t think a “neighbour” has anything invested like in a family relationship.

Neither does telling your family you’re dying require a “blow by blow” update about your aches and pains.

In fact your family knowing you’re dying shouldn’t be any more of a burden on anyone who “doesn’t want to know”.

   

I refuse to follow you through your delusion. Stick to the topic.

   

I was on topic,I mentioned Em many times when her dad died a few years ago.
You have gone through my posts,funny you missed those ones.

   

That is exactly why I think it is so important to tell people you care about that you do, and as well spend as much time as possible with them while they are alive and able to appreciate and reciprocate for the 'right reasons'. I have experienced both prolonged deaths as well as sudden deaths of people I loved. The emotional and often physical effects of prolonged death is by far much more difficult for the survivors to recover from.

   

along the lines of what Yogi is saying, the reality with dying is that no matter how much a person wants/thinks it is a personal thing, it is not. A death affects every person who knew that person, even if only for a second.

I would tell my friends and family if I knew the end was coming, if for nothing else so they could raise a beer for me somewhere, some time.

For family and friends lost for everyone

   

Guys, and gal, do keep it on topic please.

   

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