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Yogi's a girl?

Well, learned something new every single day, don't I? Anyway, this thread hasn't turned into a flame fest like most threads, so I'm confused....

   

Periods are a girl thing though, right?

   

Well, I will admit to having ben called a c**t a time or two!

   

Insinuating that poquas likes guys for no reason. yeah, that was really on topic. Funny how people are given warnings over innocuous comments yet this personal attack, in an exchange not involving you, merely gets deleted and brushed under the rug. Seems that some are more equal than others.

   

Now you are off topic


I've been thinking about this though, since you asked the question... I understand Yogi's reasoning, but I don't necessarily agree...

When my FIL died, on the tenniscourt, that was quite a shock... My MIL as well as my husband are still not over it though. They moved on, but thats it. They didn't have a chance to say goodbye, while with my grandmother, who died when she was 81, at my moms house, we ALL were there to say goodbye. We were all there on a Sunday, and she died the Mondaynight after that...

   

AHH, but you know I never try and pretend to be what I am not. I don't behave as an asshole and then feign outrage and play incredulous when confronted with my own words....now back to the matter.

There is this entire over medicalization of society nowadays too. Once upon a time death was seen as a natural part of life, as birth was. They usually happened at home. The elderly died at home, surrounded by family in familiar surroundings or family found them keeled over at home. Now we are locked up in hospitals and death is treated as something that is almost abnormal. The dying seen to be quarantined from the living and that increases the fear surrounding it.

   

Thats exactly what happened with my grandma. The doctors couldn't do anything for her, and she didn't want to stay at the hospital or some care home... So she went to her daughter (my mom).Looking back, it was a great experience...
I wouldwant it the same way...

   

That's why we call it life, because there is a beginning and an end.
If there wasn't, we'd call it something else.

My best friend (my cousin) died 2 years ago from cancer.
She fought to the bitter end. She suffered enormously but wouldn't let go.
I spent 2 months going to the hospital almost every day and was there when she took her last breath.
It was incredibly hard for me but I would not have done it any differently.
She would have done the same for me.

   

All my mom could do was tell everybody how many sacrifices she made while my grandmother was put in a nursing home. hell my dad told her, that she shouldn't have been put there. Many of the residents there were turnips, some of whom my grandmother had been a nurse too once upon a time. While physically frail, she was mentally sharp..albeit occasionally forgetful. But aren't we all even in our supposed youth? My family and were out of the country, and it was three days after they buried her that we found out that she had passed away.

   

Some of the comments and POVs give me pause for thought. I have dealt with prolonged deaths as well as sudden deaths. Personally I prefer 'sudden'. That is why in my opinion that it is so important to stay in touch with loved ones and to make sure that they know our feelings towards them. I am not the least bit embarrassed or shy about giving a hearty hug and telling male friends and family members 'I love you' regardless of where we may be or who is present. Neither do we ever hang up the phone or sign off an email with out telling each other that we love them, and we all know that it is genuine. (This would be a good time for my kids to jump in and post their thoughts and obsevances. Hint, Hint')The person dies, loved ones grieve and move on. Some require more time to grieve than others.
With prolonged deaths, people treat the dying person 'different'. The family and friends 'all of a sudden' have all kinds of time for the dying person, to the point of rearranging their complete schedules around the situation. Condescending attitudes, the bullshit about 'what great buddies they are/were start flying when in fact neither barely if at all stayed in touch etc. Almost to the point of smothering.

   

Why is there something wrong with that?

In life, you can't "rearrange complete schedules" around others. But when you have not much time left with the person you love, and you know that, you can.

If I have the chance, and know I will be dieing, I will make sure my loved ones know that they do not have to deal with the hassle and business of a funeral. I will have that arranged. I will ask them all what kind of music reminds them of me, what they would want to hear on the party I will trow for them.
I would also have a list ready of people that I want there, and if you are not on it, don't come.
Still, we are talking about loved ones, not about vague friends or relatives.

   

I'm not someone who uses 'I love you' in cavalier or casual way, and I'm not implying in any way shape or form, that you are. But in my opinion, it is sometimes used too casually and frequently.

Too me they aren't just words that you use whenever, they carry all the weight in the world and should be used carefully and considerately.

I don't think I have ever told one of my male friends that I love them. I'd likely get a weird look and then get asked, 'when are you going to tell your wife you're a homo?'. These words are reserved for my wife and children, and close immediate family.

PS - I think that Sally Field's moment was lame..."You love me...you really love me!!"

   

I totally agree with that. I never said I would make a long list

   

I wholeheartedly agree, not a phrase to be used lightly. I have many aquantances, male and female, but precious few whom I consider close enough friends whom I would give or go to any lengths for. These are the people whom I tell 'I love you', and from whom I receive the same unabashed reply. I don't consider it 'going out of my way' or 'rearranging my life' at all, to 'answer a call' from any of them. Those who have passed on did so with full knowledge of my feelings for them right to their last breath.

It has been my experience as well as several whom I have discussed this topic with that many times some people just can't possibly make it to a wedding for a variety of 'reasons' yet these same folks will take the time off work, drive for two hard days through the mountains in blizzards to attend a funeral. Too little, too late!

   

a funeral is there for the people who are left behind, not for the deceased. A wedding is there for the people who actually live it, so to speak

Seriously, if you were too busy to be part of my life, don't bother bothering my loved ones with your presence when I am dead (or dieing, for that matter).

   

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