Canada 'retarded' say's US Pundits
Just want to say, New Englanders are alright in my book! They closely resemble that of the maritime proviences
I know, off topic, but yeah that Tucker guy, well, honestly hes probally so outspoken because he has a penis the size of a catapiller. Now, I dont know for sure, but I have been told bullies do have small genitals..

It's interesting how the people who ignorantly call President Bush a 'moron' get all upset at being called retarded.
President Bush, who has more achievements of his own than Al Gore or John Kerry (not a bias, just a documented fact) is not a moron.
I will note as a point of comparison that Bill Clinton possessed an equivalent education and should rightfully be considered as having climbed higher since Bush was a child of relative privilege and Clinton was not. And I am the least fan of Clinton's.
That said, even though I am not enamored of our neo-con President I find it disingenuous to call him a moron.
Now, I also am not too happy about Canada (outside of the Quebec separatists) being called retarded.
And I will also agree with Jaime that America pays very little attention to Canada. But as some Canadians seem intent on attracting our negative attention this may change.
Having the world's sole superpower (which is right next door to you) pissed off at you is not a good thing yet there are some Canadians who think that they can insult us and taunt us by proxy (insulting Bush insults the majority who voted for him) could be sadly disappointed if the American people suddenly turn their attention to the north.
Our politicians down here are little more than weather vanes (no different from yours) and if popular opinion in this country turns against Canada then Congress will screw Canada at every turn if it buys them votes.
You do not ever want a Canadian politician or leader to find himself or herself in the position of Japan's Admiral Yamamoto who said, after Japan mistakenly thought the USA was no more than a bunch of yahoos...
Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto:
I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.
I love Canada and want to see Canada be vibrant and strong so I say this as a friend:
Don't piss us off.
People who go out of their way to piss off the USA tend to find the Fates turning their backs against them.
Now let me clarify that if Canada had a strong military and could exercise her sovereignty by herself, and if Canada developed her resources in the north, and if Canadians cared more about what they could do for Canada as opposed to what Canada could do for them then the USA might blanch at the prospect of Canada being upset with us.
I strongly advocate a strong Canada. Especially a Canada that can effectively stand up to the USA.
A Canada that can stand up to the USA has nothing to fear from anyone.
Reality check: that Canada does not exist.
But it could.
ziggy @ Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:56 am
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Canada sucks and I hate Canada. They is dumb not like us smart Americans. I hope Cananda blowed up on themselves. I know a Canadian and he hads shifty eyes. They are a society funded on lies because they call ham Canadian Bacon when they know it's just ham. Canada outlaws Howard Stern and took him off of the radio because they are scared of free thought. Canada has cheap prescription drugs to lure our elderly over the boarder . . . then they rape them. That last sentence is a true story, look it up in USA Today, it happens all the time. We can't trust Canada because they speak French and we can't understand that language. We all know how the Frenchies are pussies and Canadaians are the French peoples bithches, so that makes Canada a bigger bitch than a bitch. And why do they always say "eh" at the end of there sentences? I think it's because they is "eh-holes". I also hate how they look down on you for finishing high school early with a GED because you wanted to get a real job. The other funny thing is that most of the teams in the NHL are losing money and the league is probably going to fold up next year. HAHAHA those stupid Canadians love hockey so much: What does a canadian girl and a hockey goalie have in common? They both change their pads after three periods eh? Canadians are also famously cheap: What's the difference between a Canadian and a canoe? Canoes tip. I hate everyone in Canada so I hope the all get herpes from sleeping with their snow dogs on cold nights. Pamela Anderson said she got Hepatitis C because she deserved it for being Canadian (that's what the C stands for). I've never wroten anything that other people would read before and I just got on the internet for the first time this week. I'm proud that all the world will read this and have a better understanding of Canada. I had to speak out against the evil-doers in Canada. Go to hell Canada, go to hell!!!

Which prompted this.
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BEFORE YOU REVIEW.............PLEASE READ
gosh, for crying out loud do not reply to this thing anymore. Its been going since November and people are still posting. The whole thing was a hoax in the first place and all these americans and canadians that haven't taken the time to read the thing are still argueing about it and the original poster and the original oposers have left this thing long ago. It took me over an hour to read this whole thing and it was a waste of time yet i couldn't help myself cause of the idiocy. I'm from Minnesota (God's country) and i love my country and Canada too, but this thing is ridiculous.
And an admission of guilt....hmmmmmm,shades of "Con"?
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Valacosa, I'm the one that wrote this. It was my first time to this site and I read a post from a Canadian about how America sucks and we deserved the Oklahoma City bombings. Direct quote, "Mcveigh's, grievances were legitimate and his beliefs genuine." In case you didn't know Tim McVeigh was the mastermind/bomber in Oklahoma City.
The post was poorly written and it was clear that this Canadian was a moron. I thought it would be funny to pose as an even bigger moron and reel off every Canadian stereotype I could think of (and I invented a bunch of them also). It was fun for a while arguing back and forth (people should realize that you can't win an argument with a moron) and then I started to say things that were more and more outrageous. A few people called it a hoax but for the most part people bought it hook line and sinker.
I got tired of playing around (I also kept forgetting to mispell words and one person noticed one of my responses was eloquently worded) and I didn't know how to stop the post so I pretended to be an improv actor and say the whole thing was a joke. I figured that could be a plausible explanation and then everyone would laugh and it would be done, but I was wrong. When I came back to the site I tried to log in again but I couldn't remember my password (I just made up the name FuckCanada and hit a bunch of keys for the password so I could quickly right a rebuttal story to that crappy Canadian post).
If I wanted to log in I had to make up a new name so I typed JoeAverage and logged back in (sadly FuckCanada will be a one hit wonder because I can't figure out what the password was). When I found that my post had become the most heated post on the site I couldn't stop laughing. It was never my intent to be #1 (I didn't even know what the most heated was, I had only read one post on this site and then decided to write my first post in response) and I had even tried to stop the joke before it got out of hand (if you scroll down and read the posts by FuckCanada you can see that I'm telling the truth).
As JoeAverage I decided to fan the flames a little more and I created two more posts (Women SHUT THE FUCK UP and Puppies and Lollipops) and then they went to the top ten most heated. Although, I got in trouble with Women SHUT THE FUCK UP because I advertised it on other people's posts (OPP) and I learned that was bad etiquette (being a link whore). Then I created a prank post called Puppies and Lollipops (without doing any link whoring) just to see if it would be popular and almost as soon as I posted it, it went to the top ten (I think it's a funny prank too).
That's the real story, I may post again or I may not, I haven't decided yet. I won't post for a couple of days because I now see that the rules say one post a day. I've had a funny first experience with web posting and I do know one thing, a lot of people were entertained by this.
Now here's the biggest flamewar between Us Canucks and the Yanks that I have ever seen.
Canada vs USA
Very funny!
DerbyX @ Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:14 am
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It's interesting how the people who ignorantly call President Bush a 'moron' get all upset at being called retarded.
President Bush, who has more achievements of his own than Al Gore or John Kerry (not a bias, just a documented fact) is not a moron.
We call bush a moron, not America or Americans and lets be fair. He deserves it. He is a failed buisnessman and is doing real financial harm to your country. I'll give you Al Gore but I am surprised you don't have more respect for Kerry considering he's a decorated war vet and bush's alleged guard career is spotty at best.
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And I will also agree with Jaime that America pays very little attention to Canada. But as some Canadians seem intent on attracting our negative attention this may change.
True, of course the only times we are in the news in the states is when someone has said something derogatory. Your own media portrays us as such. Personally I like to think of us as the US's pesky little brother. Always being ignore and taken for granted. "A pain in the ass" when you have to drive us to hockey practice but you forget all the times we eagerly agree to cut the grass for you or wash your car or pick up your room so you can go out on the date with the cheerleader behind moms back. And we do these things with enthusiasm but they are instantlt forgotten the next time mom needs you to make dinner cause she'e running late.
Thats fine for now but little brothers grow up and remember.
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Having the world's sole superpower (which is right next door to you) pissed off at you is not a good thing yet there are some Canadians who think that they can insult us and taunt us by proxy (insulting Bush insults the majority who voted for him) could be sadly disappointed if the American people suddenly turn their attention to the north.
Such as what? Military intervention over insults? Look at Iraq and 1/2 the world hates you because of it. Imagine then entire world and the realization that you would be fighting the commonwealth and comitting millions of troops to fight a war of occupation. Flamebait anyway because it woud never come to that.
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Our politicians down here are little more than weather vanes (no different from yours) and if popular opinion in this country turns against Canada then Congress will screw Canada at every turn if it buys them votes.
They do anyway.
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People who go out of their way to piss off the USA tend to find the Fates turning their backs against them.
Don't take your friends for granted. People who do that quickly find themsleves without any.
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I strongly advocate a strong Canada. Especially a Canada that can effectively stand up to the USA.
A Canada that can stand up to the USA has nothing to fear from anyone.
Reality check: that Canada does not exist.
I'm curious how you would react if your neighbour came over to your house and said that? You know, the one with the japanese rock garden in the front complete with coi pond and the personal sauna/hot tub/pool/BBQ patio/nightclub in the back and said if you would only do like he does then yours wouldn't look as shabby next to his?
Just food for thought.
Derby,
I'm not trashing on Canada. And while you may feel that insulting Bush is somehow not insulting the people who voted for him I can only tell you that when Canada, France, or whoever attacks the man personally you strengthen his support.
I know this does not make sense to you, but it is true.
There's no small number of Americans who judge a man by who hates him. If Canada and France hate Bush then they'll put aside their own animosity to the man and close ranks.
Okay, you're right that our politicians take undue advantage of Canada and I'm mostly on your side on these issues. That said, cranking up the rhetoric does not help your case in America. Our relationship as nations is not at all equitable nor will it be any time soon.
That's just the way it is. Ask Lithuania about their relationship with Russia and it'll be similar.
The USA should be fair to a friend and neighbor and Canada should be polite while strengthening her own position because her current status is as a vassal state to the USA. And the separatists and their antics cause Canada to be taken even less seriously in the USA.
A growing number of us look north and we don't see a nation, we see an opportunity.
Pissing us off will not at all result in a military action.
But what if the USA acts to destabilize Canada if it is to the perceived advantage of whoever is in office?
The USA has a lot to gain if Alberta separates and raises the US flag. It may not be our love for Alberta that is expressed but our fear of China.
By the way, the Republicans have little to gain from a shattered Canada whose bits and pieces will inevitably seek union with the USA.
But the Democrats would.
Alberta would probably go Republican. Maybe Sask & Manitoba, too.
But Nunavut, BC, Ontario, New Brunswick, Newfoundland, PEI, & Nova Scotia would absolutely go Democrat and give the Democrats solid control of the US Congress for the next fifty years.
Were I to set out a plan for Canada over the next 25 years it would be as follows:
1. Stomp out separatism. Prosecute the separatists as traitors if necessary, but preserve Canada as a nation and reinforce the perception of Canada as a nation in the eyes of the world. I'd even partition Quebec to reduce their sense of nationalism.
2. Establish an efficient and effective military that can exercise Canadian sovereignty. Put some anti-sub mines in strategic channels and let the world (and the US) know that those waters are off limits.
2a. Establish mandatory national service for kids 18-20 that can include the military, but also community service and conservation service. I'd do this to give kids a sense of ownership in their nation as opposed to their current sense of entitlement.
3. Cut taxes and severely reduce social spending. Prohibit new immigrants from access to social programs for a set period of 5-7 years to dissuade freeloaders from immigrating. Create incentives for innovation and investment in Canada.
4. Invest in Canada's infrastructure as needed. Rail service in the urban areas should be a priority to prepare Canada for the day when automobiles no longer rule the day.
Canada, being smaller than the USA, is better able to reorganize itself and compete on the world stage...no different than how a relatively small, upstart USA upstaged Britain and eclipsed France on the world stage.
The 21st century could be the advent of Canada as the leading economy of the world.
It could be. 
IceOwl IceOwl:
Jaime_Souviens Jaime_Souviens:
One of the biggest questions Canadians have about America is "What do Americans think of us" and the truth is, Americans think of Canada almost never.
If Tucker Carlson is representative of most Americans, then their education system has some enormous gaps to fill.
The public school system in the USA is the problem and expecting them to solve the problem is like asking a crack dealer to solve crack dependency.
ziggy @ Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:44 am
This guy is hilarious,were all out dogsledding.
Ann Coulter and Tucker on Canada.
DerbyX @ Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:56 am
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I'm not trashing on Canada. And while you may feel that insulting Bush is somehow not insulting the people who voted for him I can only tell you that when Canada, France, or whoever attacks the man personally you strengthen his support.
I know this does not make sense to you, but it is true.
Yet attacks against us, like putting our PM on the Queen of Spades does no such thing.
If so many Americans care so little about Canada then why was anyone upset that we didn't go to Iraq? The US shouldn't ask for or expect support from a country that they think of in the manner you describe.
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There's no small number of Americans who judge a man by who hates him. If Canada and France hate Bush then they'll put aside their own animosity to the man and close ranks.
There is just as much hatred going out of America as coming in and it works both ways.
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Okay, you're right that our politicians take undue advantage of Canada and I'm mostly on your side on these issues. That said, cranking up the rhetoric does not help your case in America. Our relationship as nations is not at all equitable nor will it be any time soon.
When either Chretein or Martin played it cool with the US they were accused of doing nothing and nothing was solved. When they talk tough they are accused of belittling or annoying the US. The critics don't care what the PM does and will portray any action as anti-American. The only con solution was "if we had sent our boys to Iraq (cause afganistan doen't count) then bush would graciously give in" which is nothing short of saying "we'll sell you the lives of X numbe of soldiers for 5 billion dollars.
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That's just the way it is. Ask Lithuania about their relationship with Russia and it'll be similar.
Hardly.
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The USA should be fair to a friend and neighbor and Canada should be polite while strengthening her own position because her current status is as a vassal state to the USA. And the separatists and their antics cause Canada to be taken even less seriously in the USA.
You guys are not being that and quite frankly haven't since Clinton and (to stop you right here) perceived rejection of bush in favour of gore/kerry support (and none by the PM) is not a reason for bush to pull the shit with us that he has. frankly, given his attitude we should pull all troops from any US support position, pull out of NAFTA and start looking at other trading partners. You guys use any means necessary to influence election outcomes around the world and are currently doing that very thing in the BS PR mockery of free elections in Iraq.
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A growing number of us look north and we don't see a nation, we see an opportunity.
Once again the theme is "If you aren't our puppy then we might just invade you". Is the US nothing but a nation of bullies who view every country that doesn't act exactly as it wants as a potential victim. If thats your thinking then you were never really our friend anyway.
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Pissing us off will not at all result in a military action.
It seems implied and has been said by people like carlson and coulter and I am sure, as you say, many Americans who think that. Quite frankly that speaks volumes about them and the kind of people living in the US doesn't it?
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But what if the USA acts to destabilize Canada if it is to the perceived advantage of whoever is in office?
They have and are. There are books written about that very thing and the same type of carlson/coulture peope saying that "if Canada won't become part of the US then we'll just take the west". I think the book was "The vanishing Country"
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The USA has a lot to gain if Alberta separates and raises the US flag. It may not be our love for Alberta that is expressed but our fear of China.
Turn that around and say "It may not be our love of "X" that is expressed but our fear of the USA". Use your imagination for X.
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By the way, the Republicans have little to gain from a shattered Canada whose bits and pieces will inevitably seek union with the USA.
But the Democrats would.
Alberta would probably go Republican. Maybe Sask & Manitoba, too.
But Nunavut, BC, Ontario, New Brunswick, Newfoundland, PEI, & Nova Scotia would absolutely go Democrat and give the Democrats solid control of the US Congress for the next fifty years.
Perhaps, perhaps not. They may be doing this knowing that only the provinces they want will join with the rest remaining a very angry and bitter country.
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Were I to set out a plan for Canada over the next 25 years it would be as follows:
Can I put my plans for the US in?
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Stomp out separatism
Love to, but never happen. The only way anywhere close would be the partitioning of Quebec.
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2. Establish an efficient and effective military that can exercise Canadian sovereignty. Put some anti-sub mines in strategic channels and let the world (and the US) know that those waters are off limits.
Agreed except for the mines. That would be looked at extremely badly around the world and drop world opinion so far it isn't funny. The only thing worse would be declaring that Koala bear burgers are now the official food of Canada.
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2a. Establish mandatory national service for kids 18-20 that can include the military, but also community service and conservation service. I'd do this to give kids a sense of ownership in their nation as opposed to their current sense of entitlement.
Sorry. I can't see that being pulled of without every other town threatening to seperate.
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3. Cut taxes and severely reduce social spending. Prohibit new immigrants from access to social programs for a set period of 5-7 years to dissuade freeloaders from immigrating. Create incentives for innovation and investment in Canada.
Our taxes aren't as high as people think. Roads and roadwork eat up far more of our money then any other nation on earth and people don't seem to realize it. We have to resurface almost yearly which is far more then nations such as Australia. Very expensive. I also can't agree with severe cuts to social spending. Low income and corporate tax I agree with but keep the GST/PST.
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4. Invest in Canada's infrastructure as needed. Rail service in the urban areas should be a priority to prepare Canada for the day when automobiles no longer rule the day.
See above. Our infrastructure is more expensive to maintain so we must be careful with building roads and such.
ziggy @ Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:04 am
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Rail service in the urban areas should be a priority to prepare Canada for the day when automobiles no longer rule the day.
Now that idea is just plain crazy.
IceOwl IceOwl:
Nothing new or original.
Derby, my comments were not attacks but just observations.
I don't care for how shallow most Americans are any more, but I need look no further than IceOwl to see Canadian shallowness exemplefied. All of his political opining can be distilled down to, "I hate Bush. I'm not entirely sure why, I just do."
My idea for urban rail investments would help reduce road maintainence demands. It'd also reduce pollution, but I didn't want to shock you too much by saying I support mass transit as a means to reduce pollution.
So what are your plans for the USA?
IceOwl IceOwl:
BartSimpson BartSimpson:
IceOwl IceOwl:
Nothing new or original.
Such a weak response. If that's the best you can put up, why bother posting at all?
Go look in a mirror and ask yourself the same question.