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Bartender says 'We don't serve Time Travellers here'.

   

A buddy of mine got a new Corvette for his wife.

Pretty good trade, I think.

   

A Time Traveller walks into a bar.

   

Fake psychic, partner sentenced in US$3M fraud scheme


They didn't even see it coming.

   

Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison?

She's a small medium at large.

   

Danielle Smith apologizes for “thoughtless” remark she is about to make

   

A guy is breaking into a house. While rummaging around, he hears a voice "Jesus is Watching you".

He ignores it. A minute later, "Jesus is watching you."

He spots a parrot on a perch, and laughs. "I suppose you are Jesus?"

"No, I'm Moses."

"What kind of a person names a Parrot Moses?"

"The kind of a person who names the German Shepard, Jesus."

   

/\ good one!

   

When Chuck Norris slices an onion, the onion cries.

   

   

Never pillow fight Death. Unless you're willing to deal with the reaper cushions.

   

Andrew Tate arrested in Romania after a pizza box showed he was in the country. Police arrested him within 30 minutes.

As any longer would mean they had to give him a free garlic bread.

   

The bad news is, I dropped my cactus today

The worse news is that I caught it.

   

How many animals can fit in a pair of pantyhose?

Ten little piggies, two calves, an ass, a beaver and an unknown number of hares.

   

Knowledge is knowing that cucumbers are fruits.

Wisdom is knowing never to put them in a fruit salad.

   

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