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Since 2019, no child born in Canada has been named 'Karen'.

   

The furniture store salesman told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”

I said, “Where am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”

   

Alberta Premier Marlaina Smith bans kids from going by their preferred name

   

I looked through hours of commercials, and didn't see a superb owl.

   

"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife.

She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."

   

A contest is held between the FBI, MI5, & KGB to see who can find a cat fastest. The FBI agent returns with the cat in 4hrs. The MI5 agent in 3hrs. The KGB agent returns in 24hrs, but with a dog. "What happened," they ask, "and why a dog?" The dog shouts, "I'M A CAT! I'M A CAT!"

   

Watched toast won't.

   

How do you make a pool table laugh?

Tickle its balls.

   

Lost my job as a stage constructor.

Left without creating a scene.

   

If God wanted us to fly, she wouldn't have given us Air Canada.

   

Went to a restaurant called 'The Manhattan project', and I'm the bad guy for asking if it had a fusion menu.

   

Should've ordered fission chips!

   

Two chemists walk into a bar.

First one says "I'll have H2O please."

Second one says "I'll have water too."

First one leaves as his assassination attempt failed.

   

Danielle Smith: Trudeau wants Albertans to have teeth and I won’t stand for that

   

Nigel Farage walks into a bar. He asks the Barman for a beer. Barman pours a beer, then soaks Farage with it.

"Why did you do that?" Farage asks, soaked to the skin.

"Because this is a metaphor on asking for something and not stating how you want it delivered, you tosser."

"I am still thirsty, so I want another pint, this time in a glass." He says.

"No, you can't ask twice" the Barkeep says.

"Why not?" Farage asks.

"Democracy" he is told.

   

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