Joke of the Day!!!!

Two crabs are eating a billionaire on the bottom of the ocean.

One looks at the other and asks, "this taste a little rich to you?"

Inflation is so high at this point that...

- I recieved a predeclined credit card in the mail.

- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

- Suncor fired 25 MPs.

- McDonald's is selling the amazing 1/4 ouncer.

- A busload of USAinas were apprehended sneaking into Mexico.

- A picture is now only worth 100 words.

- The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

- I called a car dealer to get the book value on my used car. They asked if the gas tank was full or empty.

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words before he died.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Why did the chicken go to the gym?

To work on his pecks.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Turk, a German, an Indian, an American, an Argentinean, a Dane, am Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Columbian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portugese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyztani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukranian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, and a Norwegian walk into a fine restaurant.

"I'm sorry," said the maître d', "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

I want to divorce my wife.

Why?

She bar-hops every night.

Do you thinks she's an alcoholic or that she's cheating?

No, she's looking for me.

Every time when I ask someone what does "LGBT" stand for, I never get a straight answer.

I once dated a Turkish woman.

Her mother was Tunisian, and her father was Canadian. Her grandparents were Albanian and her brother was Danish.

I broke up with her though, too many red flags.

I went to the doctors recently

He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”

I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”

He said, “No. Fatty, don’t eat anything.”

A slice of pie in Jamaica is $2.00. A slice of pie in Barbados is $2.50. And a slice of pie in Trinidad and Tobago is $3.00.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

I still don't know what the Knights in White sat in. [huh]

R. Kelly wants to be released from prison because he's worried about Covid-19.

I bet he'd be good with it, if it were Covid-14.

I get really angry at lazy people, but then again they really didn't do anything.

Fun fact: Both Barbie and Oppenheimer dropped their first product lines in Japan.

My wife asked what I’ve been spending so much time on my computer for. I told her I was investing in stocks. She asked what kind and I said, “Beef, vegetable, and chicken.”

She asked me, “why?” And I replied “because I’d like to be a bouillonaire one day, honey.”